Dear Mobberly family, let me first say, “Thank you!” Thank you for loving me and my family through the most devastating and defeating year we have ever walked through. Your many prayers, cards, texts, calls and gifts have given us more joy and hope than you could possibly imagine. We have experienced what it means to be comforted by the body of Christ in a very real and powerful way. One of the widows in our church shared this verse with me this past Sunday,
2 Corinthians 1:3–4 (ESV): 3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
As our Pastor of Congregational Care, Greg Martin, shared with us in the morning services this past Sunday, “it has been a hard year for all of us with the loss of Pastor Glynn, Covid and many other church, life, and world events”. If you can say you went through the past 12 months without any sense of loss or pain, I’d like to meet you.
I was already in a dark place last year when I got the call that Pastor Glynn had been killed in an automobile accident. Because of my depression, I was unable to begin the grief process that our Pastors and church leaders began leading our Mobberly family through. I guess you could say I’m about six months behind, because I was unable to start the process until August 31, when the Lord miraculously lifted me from the deep, dark, debilitating depression I had struggled with for the previous ten months. This was the morning after Greg Martin had stood before you and announced my depression and anxiety publicly. You were called on to pray and you did and God has done a wondrous thing. Psalm 72:18,19 Blessed be the Lord, the God of Israel, who alone does wondrous things.
Blessed be his glorious name forever;
may the whole earth be filled with his glory!
Amen and Amen!
Like many of you I have found myself experiencing many emotions over these past months, including sorrow, sadness, anger, disbelief and at times some release and relief. As Pastor Greg also shared, each of us may be at various stages of grief and healing. I would like to offer you a few thoughts on grief today that I hope will help you in whatever stage of grief and healing you might find yourself one year after the death of our Pastor and the beginning of the isolation forced upon us due to the Covid 19 virus.
There is a book in the Bible that provides an example and guide for our grief, written by the prophet, Jeremiah, called Lamentations. If you haven’t read it recently I want to encourage you to read it again with you own grief or someone close to you who is experiencing grief in mind.
The book of Lamentations is made up of five poems, each an expression of grief over the fall of Jerusalem. Like a eulogy at a funeral, these laments are intended to mourn a loss—in this case, the loss of a nation. It is believed these poetic funeral dirges must have been penned after Jerusalem fell to Babylon in 586 b.c. Jeremiah was lamenting the tragic “death” of the city of Jerusalem and the results of her demise which were being experienced by the people. Jeremiah witnessed the desecration of the temple and the destruction of the city of Jerusalem. The once-proud capital had been trampled in the dust. Her people were now under the harsh hand of a cruel taskmaster. With all these events stamped vividly on his mind Jeremiah sat down to compose his series of laments.
Today I want to call your attention to the very center of the book where Jeremiah offers hope in the midst of despair. Chapters 1–2 and 4–5 parallel each other and are arranged in a chiasm pattern. Thus chapters 1 and 5 focus on the people while chapters 2 and 4 focus on the Lord. Chapter 3 provides the pivot for the book, pointing to Jeremiah’s response in the midst of affliction.
Listen carefully as I read these selected verses from Lamentations 3:19-33:
The thought of my suffering and homelessness is bitter beyond words. 20 I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. 21 Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: 22 The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. 23 Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. 24 I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!” 25 The Lord is good to those who depend on him, to those who search for him. 26 So it is good to wait quietly for salvation from the Lord. 31 For no one is abandoned by the Lord forever. 32 Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion because of the greatness of his unfailing love. 33 For he does not enjoy hurting people or causing them sorrow.
Yes, there is great hope, and peace, and confidence for us, God's people, even in the midst of our greatest losses and defeats. I hope you will take a few moments to go back in the next few days and read these verses of healing, promise, restoration, assurance and apply it to your current grief or loss or pray it over someone you know who is grieving a great loss in their life. Yes, whatever your stage or station in life this March 2021, there is hope, the steadfast, never failing, loyal love of God, the never ending mercies that he gives to us new every morning. Rest in Him, rest in His words of healing and promise and find hope.
One final thought before I close. Human emotions are too complex to follow neat, mechanical procedures. Nevertheless, it is valid and helpful to recognize stages in a normal grief experience, even through the stages may not be separate and clearly distinguished.
Shock. Our first reaction to loss may be numbness. We may feel psychologically paralyzed. We do not know how to act; we are confused and hurting; we experience anger or fear or both. We may deny the reality of the loss and rebel against accepting the facts.
Acceptance. We eventually acknowledge the brutal reality. It is no longer a nightmare – it is the way things are. We contemplate the fact that though we are still here, from now on, life will be different.
Feeling the loss. As we try to carry on with our lives, we are confused and tired, we have little appetite, we sleep poorly, we avoid other people. Sometimes we weep, other times we feel like weeping and nothing happens. We have doubts about the goodness, kindness, and wisdom of God.
Living with it. We begin to separate the past, which cannot be changed, from the future, which can be affected. We are able to remember the good times associated with the lost person and to re-evaluate our new situation, even making some tentative decisions about the future. We begin to relate to other people more normally.
Renewal. We begin to find meaning and purpose in the present and future. We renew our commitment to life and to people, becoming involved again in their lives and taking an interest in the external world. Eventually we are able to care about other people and their needs as much as our own.
The process of grief may take some time; it cannot be rushed. It takes longer for some people to recover than for others. Recognizing the stages of grief on paper is not difficult, but in real life, they are not so clear-cut. We may go through the stages in a different order or go through some more than once. As C. S. Lewis said, ‘In grief, nothing “stays put”. One keeps on emerging from a phase, but it always recurs.’ We do not get over grief, we get through grief. The good news is that, as the poet Shelley observed, ‘Grief itself is mortal.’
An Opportunity for us in face of grief, ours and others who are close to us:
Lamentation 3:40,41,
Let us test and examine our ways,
and return to the Lord!
Let us lift up our hearts and hands
to God in heaven:
If you feel you may need some assistance, guidance, support as you walk through your current grief process, there are a few opportunities before you.
Share Sessions provide three kinds of opportunities to share about the events of the past year:
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a group moderated by a counselor
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arrange to bring a counselor to an existing group, such as your Connect Group or other Bible study or fellowship group.
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meet with one of our pastors or ministers.
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RESTORING HOPE 